Pretentious Codswallop

I’m not one to dwell on TV adverts but when it comes to the campaigns for expensive perfumes, male and female, I’m left dumbfounded. What the hell are they about. The visual symbolism goes way above my head and I’m pretty sure the “creatives” involved have been snorting far too much of that white powder. What we need is some straight forward no nonsense imagery so here’s a few more of my outdoor snaps.

ADULTS ONLY

Front Door Frights

All manner of surprises await you when opening the door to a new model. In this case it was Jesus Christ she doesn’t look old enough! It was a good job she had her driving license with her or I wouldn’t have let her in. She was an inexperienced amateur, the variety that more often than not will chicken out and no show you, so I had nothing set-up which was a pity because she turned out to be a little beauty.

ADULTS ONLY

Skeggy

Well I finally got off my fat arse and had an adventure. When I say got off my arse I mean I sat on several trains for over 8 hours taking a day return to Skegness. My mission was to see the sea, tricky thing at Skeggy, it involves what seems to be a 1/2 mile hike over heavy wet sand to reach the shore line. Beautiful, I can stare at the sea for hours, well under an hour on this occasion because I wanted to get home at a reasonable time. The town was busy, so busy I had to use my elbows to fight my way down the high street, but on reaching the beach it was deserted except for me and a couple of others. Okay the weather was a touch blowy, or should that be bracing, but that’s no excuse for not wanting to enjoy the views of the Lincs Offshore Wind Farm and the muddy coloured North Sea. Rob chastised me for airing my opinions on Brighton so I won’t say anything against Skegness. Fuck it! I’ve never seen so many ugly people gathered in one place!

ADULTS ONLY

Death Of An Electric Citizen

I was sorting through a box of trannies when I happened upon a couple of nice sets shot one summer in the back jungle, sorry I meant garden. I thought they would make a jolly good update so I booted up the scanner to copy them across to the computer. Everything looked okay except the computer refused to acknowledge the existence of the scanner. Bollocks! With some excellent support from the writer of the VueScan software I use I’ve done a bit of testing but the only conclusion that can be drawn is sadly my scanner has kicked the bucket, well the thingy that controls the connection anyway. I’m not amused. A repair isn’t cheap and probably a waste of money because having bought it back in 2001 (cost almost £1000) it’s ancient technology and there is no guarantee it will work with any new computer I buy. I’m afraid my trannie collection will have to be marked out of bounds until I find the cash for a replacement.

ADULTS ONLY