Phengophobia.

Well here we are heading towards the end of summer and I’ve yet to shoot a model outdoors this year. I am really beginning to think I’m scared of daylight. I can’t blame the weather. No heatwave but warm enough for a young lady to romp about the fields in her knickers. Rain? Very little of that in Rugby so far this year. No, it must be me being too lazy to find some suitable local locations, booking a model, and just fucking doing it.

ADULTS ONLY

Cocky fucker.

Many people think I’m a lazy cunt whose photo shoots consist entirely of models, in and out of their knickers, flopping around on the green sofa. Well check these snaps out suckers. Natural light, no fill, lens wide open. Christ, if I had shot them in black and white I could almost have called it fine art. That was a bit over the top I know but I’m proud of these snaps and they go some way to justifying the money I paid out on a 50mm f1.4 lens. I’m going to be a bit controversial now and say I also like the quality of the bokeh this lens gives. Bokeh, fuck off Big Ears you haven’t a clue what it is. Okay, I admit even after reading through the Wikipedia explanation twice I’m still a bit vague to what the fuck it is, but, lots of know it all cunts, sorry photographers, use the word all the time on their blogs so if I want this site to to appear at least half as clever as theirs I’m going to have to throw in a few technical words every now and then.

ADULTS ONLY

Final Cut Pro.

Another prayer answered? Only last week I was talking about the need to buy some video editing software and Apple go and release their updated pro offering Final Cut Pro X. Watching the online overviews it all looks very intimidating for a novice like me. It took me ages to get to grips with the handful of Photoshop commands I use and this looks no easier. At the moment I use iMovie but there are inconsistencies in the way it operates that irritate me. Some clips I can cut paste and move around the timeline no problem. Yet try it again with another clip in the same project and it develops a mind of its own and refuses to behave. I get similar problems adding titles and changing fonts. I could also do with a better colour correction tooI because I only ever shoot using auto white balance on the camcorder. It usually does a good job but when it’s wrong it’s very wrong. Reading the criticisms, and there are a lot of them, about this new version of Final Cut Pro, people are referring to it as iMovie Pro and saying it has been dumbed down big time. I suppose this makes it more suitable for a duffer like me but I’m going to hang back a bit and see if its approval rating increases as more users put it through its paces and understand the changes better.

ADULTS ONLY

I think, therefore iPad.

Over the last couple of years I have been a really good boy and resisted all, well most, hardware temptations. Working in the toy industry, sorry IT, means I get to see a lot of fancy gizmos but most of it leaves me cold. Recently though I’ve had my grubby mitts on the iPad and all of a sudden I’ve developed a credit card itch. I keep coming up with reasons why it would be a good idea to own one but to be honest they are all pretty weak and I should just admit to needing a bit of retail therapy to cheer myself up. Retail therapy? Fuck off you’re a bloke. Oh come on, there’s nothing wrong with getting in touch with your feminine side once in a while.

ADULTS ONLY