Meaty beaty big and bouncy.

Do you like girls with big tits? I much prefer skinny long legged creatures for no other reason than they are easier to photograph. It’s true you know, the camera really does make you look fatter. That curvy chick in the low cut top you failed to pull in the pub last Friday night would, in all probability, look like a beast of the field in them dodgy camera phone snapshots you were hoping to take. Believe me it was a blessing in disguise that she wasn’t drunk enough to swallow your “I’m a pro fashion photographer and you would make a fabulous model” bullshit and told you to fuck off. Here are examples to demonstrate what I’m talking about. To keep these four handsome bouncy boobed young ladies from looking like tubs of lard I had to use every ounce of my finely tuned camera technique. Christ, I even took the camera out of automatic mode! These assignments are not for the feint hearted. No, stay with the size 6 stick insects because you can’t fail to get decent shots of them in whatever distasteful poses you talk them into doing.

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Hardcore camera pornography.

I’ve spent the afternoon at Focus on Imaging at the NEC in Birmingham. I’m not really an equipment freak, I don’t have the latest and greatest, I will use a camera for many years until it fails or gets so obsolete I’m forced to retire it. Two bits of sexy hardware attracted my attention. The Fujifilm X100 compact camera and the Sony NEX-VG10E video camera.
The X100 looks like a proper old fashion compact camera, and has got proper controls too. It feels well made and I’m pretty sure I could take a decent glamour snap or two with it despite the fixed slightly wide angle lens. The rub? It costs just under £1000 and does it look impressive enough to convince nubile young ladies into removing their knickers? Ummm, I’m not sure. Huge manly zoom lenses on a SLR work better methinks.
The Sony video camera also impressed me. Again expensive, I’ve seen it priced between £1600 and £1900, but I’m in obsolescence territory with my present tape eating video camera. The VG10E, compared to my present camcorder, is lighter and the controls look simpler but I see a couple of major drawbacks. It ‘s low light performance isn’t as good, and the increasing number of hard drives I’m going to need to back the data up.

Coventry City FC.

With the Sky Blues being the closest decent football club, I use that term very loosely, I like to take more than a passing interest in their performances. With all their considerable failings you really do get a season full of drama and excitement. Before Christmas there is the fight to avoid promotion, followed by the inevitable post Christmas fight to avoid relegation. There can’t be many clubs in the mid table mediocrity that give such value for money.

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Sod’s law.

Before the launch of this redesigned website I did a month of vigorous testing to make sure everything worked. Getting movies to display correctly turned out to be the most problematic but in the end I sorted it. Guess what? I come to post a movie on the live site and fuck me it doesn’t work. The best laid plans etc. etc. Back to studying the WordPress help pages methinks.

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