The biggest bore

is the person who is bored by everyone and everything. (Frank Tyger)
Fucking hell, he’s talking about me.
What’s wrong with being a boring kind of guy? (Gerald Brenan)
Phew, thanks for that Gerald, I feel a lot better now.
Why all this talk of boredom? It’s because I’m going through a snapping crisis at the moment. Attractive young ladies are contacting me for shoots but I just can’t come up with a good enough reason to dust the camera off. I need new ideas to fire me up but my mind is a total blank. I really am bored by everyone and everything.

ADULTS ONLY

I’m the slime oozin’ out

from your TV set. (Frank Zappa)
Television? What the fuck is going on. I’m almost an OAP. The telly should have become an essential aid to the process of dozing off but all it does is wind me up. Crap, adverts, adverts, adverts, crap, adverts, adverts, adverts adverts, adverts, adverts, crap, adverts, adverts, adverts. Freeview my arse. It’s costing me hours of my life trying to find something decent to relax to.

ADULTS ONLY