To shop or not?

Shop as in Photoshop. All, well nearly all, published photos nowadays are photoshopped to some degree or other. A close inspection of any shot of an attractive lady in a glossy magazine reveals a flawless plastic textured skin, glistening white teeth and whites of eyes with not one blood vessel. Spooky isn’t it. I won’t even go into the body shaping tools that are used to make every model a curvy size 8/10. It’s no wonder many young girls have a inferiority complex about their bodies and are considering boob jobs before they have even got boobs. I will put my hand up and admit I also use Photoshop more than I should and because I’m a bit of a bodger you can probably see where I’ve used it too. I not only tidy snaps up with minor alternations to distractions in the background and suchlike but I also mercilessly remove any zits and moles on the model that irritate me. If you can’t beat them you have to join them.

ADULTS ONLY

Popularity contest.

I’ve found a problem with WordPress and the increasing popularity of my website. Spam. I hardly ever had this hassle with the old designs but every day now I’m having to delete unreadable rubbish with links to dubious websites selling strange drugs that claim to give you the ability to fuck continuously for 36 hours and make your nob at least 12″ longer. Does anyone believe this stuff? I suppose they must or it wouldn’t make up such a large proportion of internet traffic. There’s one born every minute.

ADULTS ONLY

Glamour photography is not all chocolate and roses.

There is only one thing worse than clearing up after a photo shoot and that’s the housework that must be done before it. My place is a pit so when I have a young lady visitor I make an effort so the place looks sort of respectable. I’m pretty sure if I gave up taking photos the Dyson would get a third of its current usage. Today, Sunday, I had a shoot. The day I usually spend sitting around on my fat arse doing nothing, but, I had to set the fucking alarm to make sure I was up early enough to get the place tidy and ready to go. I don’t care how good looking the model was I just kept thinking about the sleep I had missed.

ADULTS ONLY

Final Cut Pro.

Another prayer answered? Only last week I was talking about the need to buy some video editing software and Apple go and release their updated pro offering Final Cut Pro X. Watching the online overviews it all looks very intimidating for a novice like me. It took me ages to get to grips with the handful of Photoshop commands I use and this looks no easier. At the moment I use iMovie but there are inconsistencies in the way it operates that irritate me. Some clips I can cut paste and move around the timeline no problem. Yet try it again with another clip in the same project and it develops a mind of its own and refuses to behave. I get similar problems adding titles and changing fonts. I could also do with a better colour correction tooI because I only ever shoot using auto white balance on the camcorder. It usually does a good job but when it’s wrong it’s very wrong. Reading the criticisms, and there are a lot of them, about this new version of Final Cut Pro, people are referring to it as iMovie Pro and saying it has been dumbed down big time. I suppose this makes it more suitable for a duffer like me but I’m going to hang back a bit and see if its approval rating increases as more users put it through its paces and understand the changes better.

ADULTS ONLY